hi. apa khabar?

Welcome to my blog. I hope you'll find something that you can relate to. Who knows, there could be other souls out there who think a little too much and feel a little too deeply, just like me. 

First man I ever loved

They say the first man you ever love is your father and the kind of relationship you've with him determines the kind of relationship you'll have with other men in the future. Apparently, it influences the kind of qualities you look for in another man due to the qualities your father has or lacks in.

I'm unable to tell you to which extent this is true because I'm not a psychologist, psychoanalyst or some love guru but I can tell you this... I've a great bond with my father and Alhamdullilah, my grandfather, too.

Together, these 2 men have showed me a GREAT deal of how men should be. How men should treat women, how they should treat their wives and daughters. I often find it surreal and saddening that in some societies, daughters aren't valued by their fathers (controversial issue, won't elaborate).

My father is not a man of many words. He's quiet but everyone who's known him for years will tell me how he's a very NICE guy. My late grandmother used to tell my mum how she's so lucky to have him as a husband and seeing how there are some men out there who don't treat their wives well, I fully agree with her.
I recall once when I was a teen, I came home saddened by some things at school and after seeing me upset, my father decided to get me durian pancakes. I love durian but my father HATES them. He can't stand the smell or the taste of it. So for him to get in his car, go to a shop to purchase something he hates and return home to place it next to his sobbing daughter... that's love.

Through the relationship I've with both my parents, I've learnt a lot about what love is. Real love is rarely expressed in the words you say but in the little things that you do. I owe a LOT to my parents for the love they've showed my siblings and I because without them, I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

People who get to know me often tell me that I'm very independent. I don't rely on anyone for anything, even for emotional stability which I think is important. No one can provide you with happiness other than yourself and at this point in my life I can safely say I feel very complete. Alhamdullilah.

I don't feel the need to put my happiness or worth in the hands of another person, material gains or achievements. I'm a very content person and I'm looking forward to discovering the world, seeking knowledge and improving myself as a person throughout my life. 

So a message to fathers with daughters: 

To my father, thank you for treating your 2 daughters wonderfully. Only Allah can ever repay you for your deeds. But to other fathers, or men who's going to be a father, all the quality time you spend with your daughter(s) will pay off because the strongest force that pushes a person to become great is love.

It's in the flaws

Next journal

Next journal