Hi. apa khabar?

Welcome to my blog. I'm Malaysian; born and raised. One fine day, I decided to upload my thoughts onto the world wide web. Who knows, there could be other souls out there who think a little too much and feel a little too deeply, just like me. 

Enjoying the present

Enjoying the present

I spent last Sunday afternoon cruising around Ipoh with my dad and sister. Our bonding time was long overdue, I'm sure my dad missed being with his two favourite daughters. I've been exhausted in recent months due to work and travel so it was a great relief to be reunited with my family in a less sombre atmosphere this time round. 

The trees and limestone hills surrounding Ipoh are a sight for sore eyes especially when you're used to being in a concrete jungle such as KL. As I was admiring the greenery and never-ending blue sky, I couldn't help but feel immensely grateful for that moment. I was grateful to be able to spend quality time with my dad and sister who I know are concerned about me. 

2015 is coming to an end, soon we'll be presented with another year insyaAllah. After losing my cousin to cancer, I've really learnt to cherish time spent with loved ones especially my family. We do not get to keep our loved ones forever; our time on earth is borrowed. Our lives are but fleeting moments that we will never get back and we should embrace both the ups and downs of life.

When my cousin was still battling cancer, I remember the anxiety that crippled our family. Whenever I couldn't visit him due to work or whatever reason, I would wonder if he'd still be around the following week. There were many sleepless nights and unsettling feelings. When I was with him, I kept telling myself how lucky I was to be given that opportunity because it could have been my last with him. 

I still recall arriving in JB the night of his demise. After hugging all my cousins, his loyal caretaker Sabrina told me that everyday since I last left JB, he would keep reminding her that I'll be arriving anytime soon when actually, I had planned not to take leave from work that week and was only going to see him during the weekend. Unfortunately, I arrived a couple hours too late. 

"Sab, tolong standby. Ku Rina akan sampai nanti." (Sab, wait outside. Rina will be arriving soon)

"Sab, Ku Rina sampai bila?" (Sab, when will Rina be arriving?)

I suppose he knew his time was running out and was eager to see me one last time; I know people who are facing their death know when their 'time' is near. His caretaker had to keep reminding him that I was only arriving on Sunday; the thought of him asking after me touches my heart as much as it saddens me. 

I've not intended this post to be a sad one, Jalil brought much happiness into my life so I hope you'll be able to see this entry in a positive light. Don't take your health for granted and when you get to spend time with your loved ones, cherish it. Enjoy the stupid jokes and appreciate the time they make for you.

I believe that friendships are God given and when people show you kindness, it's a sign of Allah's Mercy. I've been overwhelmed by the love and support shown to me by my family, friends and colleagues. I couldn't ask for more during this trying time as it's helped me to slowly glue together the pieces of my heart. Another thing I've learnt; whatever your beliefs are; grief still feels the same to whomever it befalls so be kind because all of us will go through it at one point in our lives. 

Reflecting on 2015

Reflecting on 2015

Rest well, Lil

Rest well, Lil