hi. apa khabar?

Welcome to my blog. I hope you'll find something that you can relate to. Who knows, there could be other souls out there who think a little too much and feel a little too deeply, just like me. 

What's Pneu?

What's Pneu?

Current situation.

Current situation.

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, then you would know that my health hasn’t been great as I’ve been requesting for people’s kind doas. It’s Day 10 of me being ill and Day 5 of me being treated in hospital for pneumonia.

I did not post much on my health in the first week I was ill, as I had no idea it was that serious. I was also hoping really hard, that it would subside like all fevers I’ve had but the high temperatures persisted even after many days.

All this while, I genuinely thought my ear thermometer was broken because it would show my body temperature reaching 39.8 degrees. If it wasn’t for that one morning when I nearly fainted while walking from the bathroom to my bed, I would have delayed going to the hospital.

I dislike getting the question: how did you get it? Girl, I wish I pneu. 😋The doctor explained to me that with all bacteria-related diseases, it’s a matter of chance. If you’re at the wrong place at the wrong time, and your immune system happens to be not so great that day, BOOM, an illness is born.

There’s never a good time to be sick. I’ve many things on my to-do-list and the inability to complete any of them makes me realise just how limited I am. Each day, it’s another thing left unaccomplished and I’ve no choice but to redha and accept my limits during this time while patiently waiting for Allāh to grant me full recovery.

So since I’ve had a lot of time to do nothing but think, I did reflect on how great a blessing health is. On the topic of rizq (Allāh’s provisions), money seems to be top on people’s list and it’s something that people are more thankful for as opposed to health but I think if you’ve good health, you’ve all you ever need and more.

Blessings Are Subtle

It’s easy to take good health for granted because it’s as normal to us as drinking a glass of water when we are thirsty, but to the person living in a desert, a glass of water is more precious than gold. They cherish every drop of water because they know just how vital water is and how a sudden lack of it, would cause great difficulty. Our health is no different—it can be compromised at any time.

Though I don’t think I take my health in general for granted, I certainly could do more to express my gratitude towards Allāh for a body that serves me well everyday.

My ustaz used to tell me that the blessings of Allāh are endless yet they are so subtle that we don’t realise just how comfortable He makes our lives until He deprives us of a blessing. Our eyesight is something we are so dependent on, if tomorrow we were to lose our eyesight—how difficult would our lives then be? Even a paper cut on our finger already inconveniences us so much. There is so much which Allāh does to sustain us in every given moment.

I’ve had to do physiotherapy for my lungs this week—they’re basically breathing exercises to help me breathe better. Due to the infection in my lungs, I don’t breathe as efficiently any more and it leaves me tired. BREATHING is the most basic thing that we do, it’s an automatic thing, and yet I experienced another thing I’ve taken for granted: the luxury of simply breathing.

Attitude Is Everything

Though I am still work in progress, I’ve noticed that I react to calamities a lot different now at this age. There was a time when anything that inconvenienced me would anger me so much. I would immediately fall into a state of victimhood and ask myself, or Allāh: “Why me?”

Now, I’ve realised that our attitude towards all of life’s problems is already half of the solution.

This life is not truly mine—everything in it has been given to me as an amanah (trust). This body of mine, is not truly mine, it’s God’s. He has rights over me thus I am to use my body in a way that does not transgress the limits He has laid out. Everything I’ve ever been given that makes my life go beautifully is from Allāh, therefore He has every right to send any form of hardship my way.

Out of 100 good things He gives me everyday, I probably have the wisdom to only recognise 20 therefore, it makes no sense to be angry or obsess over 1 bad thing even if it may trouble me. At the end of the day, it’s still Him who will guide me out of every hardship. Alhamdullilah.

Last but not least, when we fully put our trust in Allāh, only then will our hearts find ease in every situation. When we rely on Him and accept that everything which happens to us is good, only then will we have the strength fo face hardship with a heart that is resilient.

I think I’ve been doing a lot better since I’ve been warded but I would still appreciate everyone’s kind doas for my health. Thank you so much. <3

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